Global Consultancies: Pigs Gotta Eat Too.

For nearly a century, big fat consultancies have been pulling the wool over the eyes of corporate America… and organizations worldwide. Providing business analysis, financial advice, human resources planning, employee communications, customer service, blah, blah, blah.

They come into your living room, take over the remote control, ask an endless array of annoying questions, and in the end – after depleting you of every spare penny you have – they recommend 11-43 things you can do to recoup the money you just wasted.

And now they have set their sights on Marketing.

You may suspect from the tone of my post that I am bitter. You are correct. The rest of the industry has not only sat idly by while these obese consulting firms got fatter and fatter at your dinner table, they looked the other way and pretended it was a good thing.

Screw that.

Big fat consultancies are the ugliest scam on the planet. And now they are invading my turf, so I plan to let the world know that the king has no clothes. In fact, he is  just a fat naked pig. Listen, I will give credit where credit is due; these guys have fleeced more unsuspecting victims than than a Irish shearer in a wool sweater factory. Look up smooth operator in the dictionary and it will offer the names of the top 10 consultancies. Ask Google for the translation of a desperado and it will tell you “Consulting Firms.”

But ask consultancies to provide any tangible, measurable evidence of value they deliver to the marketplace and you will hear a pin drop as they all clamor to provide a meaningful answer. They got nothing… except your money. Trust me, the federal government has nothing on these guys. You think giving two college students $1.3 million to study the affects of koozies on a cold beer on a hot day is a bad investment? Think again… the big fat consultancies won’t even wake up in the morning for that kind of money.

According to Adweek, “Accenture, Deloitte, IBM, KPMG, McKinsey and Price Waterhouse Coopers rank among the most aggressive players. Experts say old-school ad players should be worried—very worried—because consultancies’ digital marketing units are beginning to win business and produce notable work that clients would previously have assigned to agencies belonging to holding companies.”

It’s not that they know anything about marketing or advertising or public relations, they just smell money. They think there is an opportunity to take over your marketing and automate everything to run automatically… Robots gone wild! They are pigs in sheep’s clothing.

But hey, it’s your money, do what you want. Just don’t say you weren’t warned when you look into your corporate bank account and see all your money is now residing in some consultancy’s retirement fund. And your business is none the better for the transaction.

Jim Sweeney

Jim is a veteran of the agency industry and the founder of Sweeney. He is uncommonly passionate about the idea of creating and implementing insanely great marketing campaigns that achieve insanely great results. He pioneered the full-service, full-circle agency model and continues to forge new ideas in an ever-changing industry. And he is accessible to everyone about anything, seemingly all the time, serving as a mentor to all agency personnel and clients.