Dash – And By Dash I Mean Run – For The Hills!

dash copyIt’s like my dear old dad used to say, “If you wait around long enough, you will eventually see everything.” And with the introduction of Amazon Dash, it is official: I have seen everything and it is not pretty.

I mean seriously, does anyone, including Jeff Bezos, foresee a future in which your entire life is supplemented with tiny branded panic buttons. “OMG, I forgot to buy coffee pods… push the button! Holy Crap, Batman, we are out of TP… press the panic button!”

This isn’t the Island, and we are not John Locke. There is no need to push the button; just get your sorry butt up to the corner store and buy some coffee and Charmin’.

Honestly, this may be the dumbest idea since… no, wait, this is the dumbest idea of all time.

Maybe – maybe – if you are 80-years-old and you rely on the kindness of strangers to purchase your groceries (since you are no longer allowed to drive), then and only then might it be acceptable to use branded panic buttons. Otherwise, I see no good coming of any of this.

And yes, I have heard all the rhetoric about Millennials and their penchant to get what they want, when they want it, the way they want it, but they are not idiots.  They do not want their walls and cupboards filled with hundreds of panic buttons. Unless of course they just think it is funny (which I can see),  until their best friends prank them by pushing every button in their house a hundred times.

Anyway, the thing that really bugs me, the thing that has gotten under my skin is how Amazon treats us like nothing more than a herd of guinea pigs. Every day is a new test… a new prick of the skin with a potentially deadly virus. Amazon has no interest in you or me or any of us; just our money.

And that’s fine; I have no problem with capitalism. Just stay out of my house…. and that goes for you too Google. Keep your smart thermostats and your smart smoke detectors and your smart dash buttons to yourself. If I want something, I will let you know.

Jim Sweeney

Jim is a veteran of the agency industry and the founder of Sweeney. He is uncommonly passionate about the idea of creating and implementing insanely great marketing campaigns that achieve insanely great results. He pioneered the full-service, full-circle agency model and continues to forge new ideas in an ever-changing industry. And he is accessible to everyone about anything, seemingly all the time, serving as a mentor to all agency personnel and clients.